Starting over is never easy. It takes a whole lotta energy, guts, vision, and action to set out into the unknown. Over the years I’ve started over many times in different areas of my life; from being heart-sick, body-sick, and mind-sick to flourishing and healing in all those areas.
One thing I’ve come to recognize about starting over (and life in general for that matter) is that “It always works out”. Come to think of it I honestly can’t think of a time when it didn’t work out. I’m here now, right? Writing and sharing with you about loving, living and thriving. So, yes, it always works out. Even in those moments when everything about a situation is screaming, “This Is Not Working Out!” the emotional and circumstantial storm always passes. Then, eventually when the clouds have parted and the dust has settled it’s easier to see how things were working themselves out all along and there is just that much more breathing room in the new situation.
I’m starting over again just now and the promise of having “more room to breathe” is the dangling carrot in front of me that’s pulling my vision forward. I have a passion in my heart for sharing perspective and living from the heart…but, there are so many challenges that come from committing to that kind of practice. Because let’s be honest; committing to yourself is hard. Commitment of any sort entails unending amounts of discipline, focus, and repetition. Committing to yourself is harder because it also requires that you love yourself enough to be authentic…and that’s a pretty awesome challenge.
So here’s my latest challenge: making a trans-Atlantic move, changing careers, and falling into a new life without a visible net.
Here’re the feelings that the challenge evokes: adrenaline-infused passion, anxiety, confidence, questioning of confidence, pride, humility, scared-shitless-ness, overwhelming gratitude, and worry.
I love that the Feeling List is real. It’s not afraid to own the ‘ugly’ feelings, too. Awhile ago, I would have totally ignored the negative stuff and told myself that dreams aren’t built on a fear-based mentality. But, then I got sick of stuffing my real feelings under the rug all the time….like, really legitimately sick….like Tuberculosis sick….and I learned the hard way that you do absolutely no service to yourself when you deny any one aspect of who you really are. Sometimes, I really am a hot-mess. Sometimes (for about a millisecond), I have it all together in perfect working order. Most of the time, I’m happy to feel super real and rounded out by a balance of life-loving fabulosity and fear-inducing irritations. I’m now the first one to give myself and everyone else permission to ‘get ugly’ with how things feel.
Life is an incessant repetition of transitions. Once we complete one challenge another one awaits. We are constantly starting over. Be real with the process, sweetness. Let yourself own it all. It can be super scary to feel deeply and acknowledge where your comfort zone meets your fears. In my experience, that place is always where the magic happens. Your soul will shift and your Truth rises to scare away the doubt.
Let yourself go there. Let yourself feel it all. We are so much more beautiful when we are real.
That said, this week I’m penciling in time for bubbles baths, crying sessions, laughing till my belly hurts, and a super indulgent bag of Dorritos.
Sending so much love to you,
What’s your latest challenge? Care to share? Let’s create a dialogue and safe space to talk about what really tugs at our hearts and ticks us off. I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. Love you, Lovely!